The Little Problems that Count in Writing

By Carol Hegberg

Every manuscript I edit has similar little problems that are not writing errors as such. Yet by avoiding them, you will hone your writing and improve the flow of your manuscript's reading.

Rose was astounded at Sadie's library. There were 250 hardback books.

To improve those sentences, let's work the two together to read, Rose was astounded at Sadie's 250-book library, all hardbacks. Definitely an improvement. Many writers begin too many sentences with "there." Once in a while . . . but not often. Work the nouns (library and books) and their modifying adjectives (Sadie's, 250, hardback) together so a "there" isn't needed. If you wrote for young children, the first sentences would read best. For older children, young adult, and adult literature, the second sentence is best. Honing is part of revision and writer's work.

The same goes for "it was." Your writing becomes stronger when you identify the exact word for "it." Generally you can delete "it is" and insert a verb farther into the sentence.

It is true that Joel did great on his spelling test. He ranked the highest.

Improve that line by dropping "it is," and use the second verb (third if you count "is") so only one sentence reads, Joel ranked the highest on his spelling test.

Verbs are the emotion and backbone of your writing. Use strong ones. Instead of having your characters walk through the manuscript, have them jaunt, saunter, hike, perambulate, shuffle, amble, march, tramp, go on foot, and perhaps waddle. If you use specific verbs, you will eliminate those pesky adverbs.

I know Joel won the spelling bee. You can improve this sentence by deleting "I know." The majority of "I know"s can be eliminated, and the sentences' meanings will remain the same.

Avoid long prepositional phrases. Every morning Joshua walked to school, which was located at the end of the block of Tenth Street. That sentence could read better as, Every morning Joshua walked to Jackson School on Tenth Street. By giving the school a specific name, the reader can locate the school on Tenth Street. No "end of the block of" is necessary.

Another little hint that isn't always necessary but good to remember . . . you can often delete "that." The word flow will depend on whether to leave "that" in or remove it. Notice this article's first sentence. Every manuscript I edit has similar little problems that are not errors. I had originally inserted "that" after "manuscript." When I read the sentence out loud, the flow improved without "that." However, in the predicate (second half of sentence), the objective noun "problems" needed a "that."

Many authors want to write the way people speak. That's fine for dialogue or for a casual style, depending again for whom you're writing. Yet, to begin most sentences with "and" or "but" is unacceptable to the reader.

Colloquialisms or overused phrases are other little problems.

The dance duo of Johnny and Judy were the final nail in the coffin for the competition.

How many times have you heard that phrase? Think and create your own phrase and perhaps a new colloquialism. How about The duo of Johnny and Judy were like twirling umbrellas that kept away any opposition in the dance competition? The picture of twirling umbrellas is much better than a nail for the sentence's content.

Another overused word is "very." Think what "very" means. Does it "really" (another overused adjective) add to the sentence? Is it only the way we talk? Is it needed?

Some writers invert their sentences. As my colloquialism goes, once in a while . . . but not often.

No sooner had she begun to understand her lines than the media and its equipment arrived. How about . . . The media and its equipment arrived as she began to understand her lines? The understanding flows better.

A bunch of little problems in one manuscript can total to one big problem you want to avoid: rejection. Hone and revise those little problems away.